I dont know if this happens to people of other ethnicities or races, but today i was just fed up.
Growing up I was always taught to respect your elders, especially other women. I dont know if it was because I felt like I had the whole Toronto Raptor Basketball team plus their coach doing pre-season drills in my head, or the fact that I was carrying a bag the felt like a ton of white powder, but my “sensitivity” to certain things was on high today.
On my walk home, in the King & Bay [business] district, I saw an older black woman walking towards me and I admired her for a hot sec – the all black power suit & power pumps, the cool-ass Argyle laptop case and amazing thick hair just flowin’. She looked like she was off to an business dinner meeting. As I got closer to her, I looked away and out of no where decided to glance up and give her a “i-respect-your-swagg” smile. Jeeze and ages, when I tell you I got the glare of Cruella De ville I nearly toppled over. I couldn’t understand it, maybe she caught me staring at her and she found it intrusive – ok I give her that, but my ass was way too far from her for her to have even noticed. Whatever, Ms. Cold Hearted in those AMAZING black pumps put me in my god damn place.
Anyway, I’m walking up Yonge Street laughing at the fact that Forever XXI couldn’t have opened at a worse time (the Canadian Dollar is at Par with the US…*bam*bam*), I noticed another older lady and a friend of hers walking towards me. I didn’t even bother this time but my ass couldn’t help it. I raised my head to find her freaking fixating on my face as if she must have seen me somewhere sometime last week at the local hair supply store.
At this point I was fed up. I cut my walk short and hopped on the subway where I was entertained by lackadaisical 9-5′ers who never seem to remember what stop to get off on. As I’m walking to my apartment I see three older black women – maybe around my mothers age – all *cackling* and speaking in some rough patois by a parked car and as soon as I walk up….silence. For a hot second, I thought I was going to get rushed.
By the time I got home, I wanted to call my mother to say sorry for all the stress I’ve ever put her through in her lifetime.
I don’t get it. Did they see a part of me in them at my age? Was it a post-midlife crises thing? Was the way I dressed offensive? The fact that I didn’t have a suit on at 5:30p in the afternoon like everyone else? All I know is that the next time I’m in a situation where an older woman is looking at me like I was the one who gave her an illegitimate grandchild, I might actually have a few words….I mean questions. Hell I might not even say a word. I’ll just take the GLARE and walk on.
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WHAT TO DO NOW?